Day 105
Early in my crazy-person career, I visited my college's medical center because I was so depressed I wanted to kill myself. This was a problem.
I was grabbing life by the throat. I got out of bed most days at sunrise and jogged. Then came the black vinyl planner, filled with lists. Lists of things to do and people to call, lists of goals and mission statements, lists of errands, lists of lists. I had been ad-libbing for too long, and was determined to eradicate every piece of procrastination from my life. If it could be organized and prioritized I filed it neatly into my white rectangular Ikea shelves. Everything else was put on a list. After sitting at a white rectangular Ikea desk, I sat at a piano, by myself, for hours. Then I set my alarm clock and napped. The second part of my day was filled with rehearsals and classes and work. Piano students paraded in and out my door.
Read the rest of this post over at The Second Road...
6 comments:
Great post Eli! Isn't it amazing that we always seem to resort to "if I can only work harder..." I can avoid feeling, I can avoid having anything out of control, I can avoid...whatever.
I so know that one!
I don't run my life with lists anymore and it feels really good.
This spoke to me..I'm a list maker extraordinaire. The more messed up my life, the more compartmentalized I made it. Funny, I can gauge my contentment on the number of lists I have going on. Thanks for an insightful post.
I do list's and then dont do list's like everything in my life I am inconsistent... it makes me nuts...
I always thought if I worked harder, did better i could make anybody love me,,, it began in childhood and finally 40 years later I get that it does not work that way.
Hi Eli
I have given you a blog award --
Mary LA
Eli, I have something for you over at my blog...
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