Comments on Eli Hornby: Bad Math

thank you for following my blog eli - your words h...

2009-03-01T03:21:00.000-08:00

thank you for following my blog eli - your words here - and i've only read a post - echo deep in my soul. i will pray for you as i read - knowing that your story is the yin to my yang - the male to my female - different but so very familiar. thank you.

are you familiar yet with patrick carnes? his work has saved my life and marriage. he has a work book that my husband and i have gotten 1/2 way through (we moved away from the therapist who was helping us through it) called "open hearts" - it's a 12 step for couples - was so powerful to help us begin to re-engage in real intimacy - which we are still struggling through - but it was a great start.

again - thank you so much for following me - so that i could begin to follow you.

How incredibly refreshing to read your thoughts an...

2009-02-21T14:01:00.000-08:00

How incredibly refreshing to read your thoughts and emotions shared right here with such bravery. Welcome to the sober blogging community. Thank you for sharing, Eli. This survivor needed to hear your words today.

W-WMe--I think I finally got how the Blog thing wo...

2009-02-19T09:50:00.000-08:00

W-WMe--I think I finally got how the Blog thing works (or at least part of it). Thanks for cueing me in. I started reading. Bravely candid and though one need not be, also articulate. And per the challenges, I am reminded of something. I call it the "The greatest athlete". I was at the gym one day (yeah, I used to go). A gal comes hobbling in, perhaps muscular dystrophy or something, could barely walk evenly. She gets on the treadmill and goes at it! Wow! And I thought, "If we only put the criteria of how one meets the challenge, she is one of the greatest athletes I have seen."
The mountain is our own and everyone's peak is high and it is the surmounting not the external altitude that attains the height--well, if that makes any sense. I guess that is my way of acknowledging. As they say, "Congrats!"

I can hear your pain..and your honesty. The issues...

2009-02-19T09:05:00.000-08:00

I can hear your pain..and your honesty. The issues are real & hurtful, but I'm a believer in life working with you when you try to help yourself. You have a lot going for you. Keep writing and sharing.

Wow, very honest, raw stuff here. I love the realn...

2009-02-19T08:24:00.000-08:00

Wow, very honest, raw stuff here. I love the realness. It is basically the only way to wholeness....in my experience. Thank you for sharing and for following my blog. I am glad to have found your writings here and will be back to read more.

Thank you for this very honest post. You describe ...

2009-02-18T14:52:00.000-08:00

Thank you for this very honest post. You describe something that few men can ever say, or women for that matter.

I'm not sure if you guys have the book "Ghosts in the Bedroom," but it has a lot of great stuff for the partners of sex abuse survivors. I know you're looking for your wife to continue to work on her stuff ... but I just thought I'd share the title in case it had some value to you.

and now it is my turn to say thank you - for writi...

2009-02-18T05:54:00.000-08:00

and now it is my turn to say thank you - for writing with such honesty and grace and truth that it makes me very much aware of how far I still have to go.

I am glad you found my blog. I am taking a week or two off - but will be back for sure to read up on you and your life and all that you write.

Cat

I never know what to write. I love you and I'm pr...

2009-02-12T12:03:00.000-08:00

I never know what to write. I love you and I'm proud of you and I'm sorry for you and happy for you. You're a good dad and a good husband not because you're perfect but because you're sincere and courageous in your effort to love your kids and wife. I really believe that these qualities are going to beat out your addict, and that you are one of those 33% who doesn't get sobriety the first time, but does get it the end.

Besides, the "the end" isn't really the point. Facing the struggle with humility (humiliation) and honesty is the point. Rejoicing in the beautiful moments is the point. Fostering compassion for Linsey and for yourself is the point. Not giving up, even when you're your own biggest critic. I'm always happy to read your posts because I can tell you are doing all of these things.

Your whole family is lucky to have someone with these qualities, including me.